Gordon Ramsay’s wife opens up about ‘guilt and pain’ after losing son

Tana Ramsay has shared the deeply felt grief and guilt she carries after losing their unborn son Rocky eight years ago. The mother-of-six, who has been with culinary star Gordon Ramsay for almost three decades, tragically miscarried at five months in 2016.

Despite welcoming two more additions to their family since then – four-year-old Oscar and baby Jesse, born last November when Tana was 49 – she admits having more children has sparked intense feelings of guilt for not mourning Rocky enough.

Opening up on the Midlife Postcards podcast, Tana described the heartbreaking ordeal as “the biggest shock to all of us” and confessed it was something she would “never get over”.

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She expressed: “And there I still suffer so much guilt. Should I have known something? Should I have done something different?”, as reported by Express.

“It’s one of those things where some days you’re absolutely fine and you can justify it. Other days, for whatever reason, whether you’re tired or triggered by something, I can have a day where I just feel. really emotional.”

Referring to her experience with their baby Rocky, she recalled the unimaginably painful moment, stating: “You don’t expect to hold a baby knowing it won’t last more than an hour.”

Adding emotionally: “This will always be something I will never, ever be able to get over. And Gordon, also, I think, well, all of us, all of us, I think it was a real shock to everybody. I had a miscarriage before that. Also, I just wanted to talk about it and no, when people have avoided it, you don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable.

“If someone said, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ it was actually very nice to hear. You don’t want people to avoid it, or I didn’t.” Even now Oscar, he talks about Rocky, you know, his brother in the sky or his star. And he’ll come out with things like, “I really don’t like him being there. Why can’t he come here?

“(Gordon) was absolutely devastated and when it all happened he wasn’t afraid to sit and just be sad with me. We talked about it so much and I think it was lucky that we were both in the same space. , where we actually couldn’t wait to try again.”

“Because I also think it would have been fair enough to say, I guess maybe not, but luckily we both wanted to. But talking to the kids and talking to each other about it was just vital. The hardest times were actually after I had Oscar, and he must have been about three weeks old, and I had one day where I felt so emotional.

“I think it was the guilt that I didn’t think I felt enough for Rocky because I was excited about a new baby. And that threw me, and I remember Gordon telling me he’s always going to hit you. like this now, because I’ve been in this bubble for so long. And then suddenly you think that I felt unfair, that I didn’t think enough or sad.

The grieving mum said: “You never know what’s around the corner with pain and I’ve never had anything like it.” The couple share six children together – Tilly, Megan, Jack, Holly, Oscar and Jesse.