Our children are 2 years apart, but in consecutive classes. Here’s why.

We thought a lot about what we wanted to do

The decision to send them to school is a nuanced one that I did not come to lightly. An easy answer is that they both have summer days, which are a bit mixed up if parents choose to send their kids or not based on the deadline.

My older son’s birthday is in June and my younger son’s is in May; My oldest would be one of the youngest kids in his class if we had sent him to preschool when he was 5. My younger son’s birthday is a month earlier in the year, but he’s even more prepared when, at the same age, my oldest wasn’t.

Another factor is that my husband was a year behind his own brother in school and he loved it; he wanted his sons to have the same privilege. (I was five years older than my closest sibling, so I also understood that the drawing was next to a loved one at school. After all, this is why we chose to have children close together. The age difference it left me feeling distant and on my own for most of my youth, and I didn’t want that for my kids.)

The biggest reason, however, is simple: it’s what their personalities demanded.

Our oldest is fun and lively but has trouble sitting still or listening to directions. It’s as if his own brain is holding his attention span hostage. He wouldn’t have excelled at school as the youngest. In fact, the teachers still confused him because he was on the younger side of the class when he was in kindergarten, even though he was one of the older students. (A revelation that made me realize I made the right choice for him.) He worked hard and excelled in extracurricular areas, but schoolwork meant hard focus. Homework was always met with rejection. An extra year of maturity helped him adjust.

Socially we never worried about him; he is as outgoing as they come. He receives compliments for getting along with others, a personality trait he was blessed to receive. He goes to school to see his friends, not to learn.

The youngest, however, lives for school. He will enjoy doing worksheets or learning-based activities for fun at home; I got reports saying the same thing from his preschool teacher. He’ll fuss at bedtime if he’s not done with a puzzle or a drawing sheet or whatever he’s working on. He likes to focus and learn. We constantly get compliments from teachers that he is well behaved and a good listener. (These are attributes he doesn’t display at home.) He asks for more lessons, as if that’s his idea of ​​a good time.

He is more shy and reserved so I worry about him starting school at a younger age. He goes to school to learn and makes friends as part of being there. To help him with that, I enrolled him in a summer learning program where he was able to get comfortable with the teachers, learn how to get through the lunch line, and understand the terrain. This extra time boosted his confidence and made me more comfortable sending him next month.

Hopefully growing up in consecutive grades will help them bond

Hopefully, growing up in consecutive grades will be a bonding experience they can love and enjoy. But more than that, the goal is to have them in the grade and developmental age where they can thrive best. If not, we will talk to the teachers and reevaluate. There is no right answer, just to help them with the best way to help them succeed.