Sabrina Carpenter’s “Short N’ Sweet” exposes the reality of modern dating

Carpenter literally stands 5 feet, as she clarifies in the album’s opening track, but the title isn’t simply derived from her resemblance to Polly Pocket. It also refers to the high-profile relationships she’s been through recently, the short durations of which belie the emotional wreckage they’ve caused—what Gen Z might describe as “the situation.”

“I thought about some of those relationships and how some of them were the shortest I’ve ever had and affected me the most,” she told Apple Music’s Zane Lowe .

Indeed, throughout “Short n’ Sweet,” Carpenter isn’t shy about the vulgar, the demoralizing, of modern dating. And yet, she makes it bearable – and better yet, fun! — with her enduring sense of humor. Sometimes, as the kids say, you just have to laugh.

Cleverly released as the second single, “Please Please Please” offers the closest thing Carpenter has to a sentence: “Heartbreak is a thing, my ego-s another / Please don’t embarrass me, the bastard”.

It’s a masterful indictment of the information age: Now that everyone’s online, everyone has an opinion, and social media stalking is a national pastime. Falling in love has always been scary for personal reasons, but now it also comes with a social risk. Every partner who reaches “Instagram Official” status becomes a potential liability — or, for someone of Carpenter’s stature, a scandal.

Album highlights “Taste” and “Coincidence” both skewer a man who swore he was over his ex, only for Carpenter to see photos of them online two seconds after she left—a classic digital courtship story. In the latter, Carpenter reveals that the ex in question was sending the guy dirty photos while he and Carpenter were still together. (the nerve!)

“What a surprise, your phone just died / Your car drove itself from LA to your thighs,” she teases in the bridge of “Coincidence,” a couplet that could send a Laurel Canyon-era lyricist into cardiac arrest.

The album is peppered with sly nods like these, blending lust and absurdity and the sting of rejection with impressive finesse. “Dumb & Poetic” paints an all-too-familiar portrait of a male manipulator, the kind of guy who would insist that “Fight Club” is the best movie ever made (without understanding its themes) and, in Carpenter’s words, “jack “. to the lyrics of Leonard Cohen.” Another playful standout, “Slim Pickins,” is Carrie Bradshaw via Dolly Parton, lamenting “all the motherfuckers on my phone” while quietly enjoying the drama.

Meanwhile, “Good Graces” and “Bed Chem” recall the rousing R&B-pop stylings of Ariana Grande—Carpenter’s real forebear, despite her recent association with Taylor Swift. Grande’s 2019 opus “Thank U, Next” was a similar kind of snapshot, capturing a very special moment in Grande’s life and in pop culture, the playlist is full of lyrics and shout-outs to trendy brands.

These kinds of modern touchpoints can easily come off as creepy or weird, especially in pop music, which already leans toward the corny. (Even the ever-dedicated Swifties balked at their idol’s use of slang words and phrases in her songs, like “Hits Different” and “Down Bad.”) But Carpenter uses them to build the very bedrock of her story. “Short n’ Sweet” is an album grounded firmly, almost defiantly, in this day and age – all the struggles and ridiculous evils of dating-app-era romance, which, despite the disappointment, are usually great wine-night fodder.

Against all odds, her approach pays off. It feels really relatable. Carpenter may be a classic blonde bombshell with the voice of an angel, recounting her troubles to millions of fans, but she doesn’t play it like she’s superior to those of us listening. He often feels like he’s on stage, glancing out into the crowd and rolling his eyes, like, “Can you believe this guy?” My take: No, girl, I can’t.

Final grade: 8.8/10

Worth listening to: “Taste”, “Please, Please, Please”, “The Sharpest Tool”, “Coincidence”, “Bed Chem”, “Espresso”, “Dumb & Poetic”, “Slim Pickins”, “Juno”, “Lie to Girls”

Background music: “Good Grace”

Press skip: “don’t smile”

* Final album score is based on songs per category (1 point for “Remember Listening”, 0.5 for “Background Music”, 0 for “Press skip”).