My millennial son has moved house 3 times; We support him

Our empty nest only lasted a few years; our son came back to live with us several times throughout his life.

He is part of the “boomerang kids”

There has been a lot of media coverage of the rise among young adults who are not leaving the nest. An estimated 57 percent of young adults ages 18 to 24 live in their parents’ homes, but that’s only up from 53 percent in 1993.

The term “boomerang children” has been used to describe adult children who return to live with their parents for financial reasons. In our case, it wasn’t that he had to go back; we offered.

After high school, my son was set to attend Cal State Fullerton. He was working a summer job, waiting for school to start, and then one day he surprised us. I noticed a bag on his desk with “Army” written on it; having served in the military, I knew exactly what it was. He soon announced that he had decided to postpone school for a few years. He had talked about the military as a teenager, but hadn’t mentioned it in years, so the announcement came as a surprise. When the day came for him to report to basic training, they said their tearful goodbyes and then he left. The house felt empty.

He came back to live with us 3 times

It was a strange feeling to have no children in the house – just me and my wife – for the first time in 18 years. But it only lasted a few years. While in Texas, Jason won an Army ROTC scholarship and chose Cal Poly Pomona, a school just 25 minutes from our home in Yorba Linda, California.

My wife and I drove to Texas to attend a ceremony for his transition into the Reserves and to see him receive the Army Merit Medal. Then I brought him and the 2,000 pounds of stuff home.

Once home, his stuff exploded all over the house. This was familiar. It felt good to have him home. We didn’t charge him rent and he was able to save his housing allowance from the bursary money to one day invest towards buying a house. He paid all his expenses except food, which we provided. Once again, my fridge was empty in the morning, but at least he had learned to wash the remaining containers.

Although he came and went on his own, he helped with all the chores around the house and even did some of the cooking. During his junior year, he introduced us to his girlfriend, who later became his fiancee. A few months before the wedding, he moved. The house was even more crowded now, but still, it felt good. We even met them twice and spent a day at Disneyland. We bonded with her.

After four years of college, he left for active duty again, this time in Georgia. When his time in the service was over, he and his new bride bought a house in Vancouver, Washington. But there was a problem, as the previous owner had not vacated since receiving the unloading orders. They had to leave Georgia and needed a place to stay for a few months. So once again, my son and his wife were moving back, only this time with a surprise: they were expecting a baby.

My wife and I hastily repainted my son’s room and bought a new bed and mattress before we arrived to keep mommy-to-be comfortable. Two months later, with the baby only a month old, the children left for their new home. The nest was empty again.

Our grown son lived with us three times after high school. There are criticisms of boomerang or adult children living at home. Some complain that young adults will not be able to develop a sense of independence and will continue to come home. I don’t agree.

The support my son received allowed him to graduate college debt-free and save money to buy his first home. He now has a well-paying job in construction management, is a husband and father, and owns a house and two cars. In my mind, just because the nest is empty doesn’t mean I can’t come home.