My wife and I have seen our income explode but are worried about leaving friends behind – What should we do?

In another episode of Why Rich People Are So Weird, we explore why rich people like to brag so much. We have a Reddit post from the “r/fatFIRE” subreddit (wealth and financial independence/retire early/retire with a fat). The post is titled How Did You Handle Divergent Income From Your Friends?

The OP (Original Poster), GenericHam, says his wife’s friends vacation with them every year. OP started to notice that incomes between friends were becoming significantly different. His wife’s friends have to take care of their parents and he doesn’t. This led to his fortune “starting to take off”. OP expresses uncomfortable feelings on vacations and dates. The OP suggests that they can afford much nicer vacations and activities than the rest of the group. OP wants to know how to handle these social events.

SIDE

Money.

My initial reaction was, “Gee, this guy sounds funny.” I noticed that instead of saying “his friends” or “their friends”, he distinctly said “my wife’s friends”. To me, that shows a lack of respect for this group of people for starters. If after years and years of vacations together, he doesn’t consider these people his friends, or their friends, that’s the first problem for me. And that’s not even about the money.

My second reaction was just utter amazement at this question. This person seems to quickly turn into “that guy”. You know the guy. The guy who invites you to a indeed good meal out of your budget and then not pick up the tab. The guy who insists on splitting the bill equally after picking the event without considering everyone’s budget. The guy who refuses only he pays for things he wants to do that others can’t afford. I found myself agreeing with the comments most people left.

Key recommendations

Man with money.

Most commentators have come to agree with one of three conclusions:

First: Don’t be that type. Practice not doing this awkwardly if you have to. Simply plan vacations within everyone’s budgets like OP did their entire relationship. Nothing needs to change at all. Cheap stuff is as much fun as it ever was. Just because the OP now has more money does not mean the quality of activities available in his previous budget went down or something. Quality time with quality friends is priceless. If the OP is keeping score or keeping track of who spends what, that will put a strain on their relationship. It seems that he he may already regard himself, even unconsciously, as superior to these loyal friends. The OP also makes a lot of assumptions about his group’s income. These friends might earn just as much, but they live below their means. It never hurts to ask what about budget to stay within when planning a group vacation. Putting people in a situation where they can’t afford a vacation but still waiting for them to come is top notch that guy movement.

Second: If the OP is put on a more luxurious vacation, they should take care of accommodations one or two big meals, an activity or two, and possibly even travel. OP can afford to rent a nice vacation home big enough for everyone, or a large suite, cabin, etc. When the cost of lodging is out of the way, his wife’s friends can probably afford whatever else he wants to do. If OP wants to do more expensive activities that are still out of his wife’s friends’ budget, he should pay for them and invite them along. This option can violate the dignity of other tourists and make things look awkward. So, to counter this, each couple or individual could take turns covering a dinner bill, or paying for food for the house, etc. That way, it feels like everyone is contributing and everyone can only have a nice time

Third: Pay for activities or holidays ahead of time or at the point of sale and let others pay back whenever they can/want to. Asking Youngling, she says “(a rich friend of mine) basically said clearly and sadly, ‘I want to do ____ with you and the cost doesn’t matter to me, but if you feel weird that I’m paying for everything, then you can payment. I’ll be back as much as you want.” His friend would be then only accept that the next table is covered by the other person, or whatever amount they felt comfortable with.

The post My Wife and I Have Seen Our Income Explode, But We’re Worried We’re Leaving Friends Behind – What Should We Do? appeared first on 24/7 Wall St..