Improvisational comedy helped American millennials overcome loneliness abroad

• Dalia Goldberg moved to Spain with her then-husband in late 2018.
• A few years later, she was overwhelmed by her job, went through a divorce, and felt lonely living abroad.
• She ended up making friends by joining an improv comedy group.

It’s 9 p.m., I’m sitting on stage, and the wooden tables spread across the crowded bar are full of people. The lights are out and the air smells of yeast and hops. And Jennifer, one of the members of my improv group, quacks like a duck.

There is something poignantly hilarious about her impression. Flapping her wings and ruffling her tail feathers, she somehow captures the very essence of the duck. The crowd roars with laughter.

Later, I spin an improvised romance yarn about a mole. My friend Will becomes a frenetic sports pundit, spouting sharp commentary with quick energy. Alex, the host, warms up the crowd with a bang, towering over us all in his brightly patterned shirt. Accents are thrown at random; The pop culture references go in all directions. There are no rules.

Two years ago, I couldn’t have imagined that I would jump whimsically onto this stage. Caught in a struggling relationship and unhappy with my career, I felt constantly anxious and nervous. At a friend’s wedding, where I was asked to be a bridesmaid, my social anxiety was so intense that I drank one too many glasses of wine and stayed out of the event.

I felt lonely after I moved to Spain

The COVID-19 pandemic has led to an increase in loneliness around the world as lockdowns and travel restrictions have kept people away from family and friends. And I was no exception.

At the beginning of 2020, I had just spent my first year and a half in Seville, Spain. Plans to integrate, learn Spanish and meet new people have been interrupted by lockdowns and panic over new virus variants.

My husband and I moved to Spain thinking we would travel and enjoy a great quality of life while working remotely. Instead, with travel reservations canceled and meetings banned, I settled into a rigorous routine of working from home, peppered with immigration paperwork and reading up on vaccines. I tried keeping in touch with friends in North America via video calls, but it just wasn’t the same.

As a freelancer, my workload has increased as companies around the world have moved to remote work. I went from teaching occasional online English lessons to launching a remote copywriting business where I often answered emails 24/7. The stress and pressure, combined with the oddities of renting an old apartment and managing immigration paperwork, quickly became overwhelming.

As the years passed endlessly, I began to wonder what I was doing in Spain and questioned whether the move was worth it. The gloom in the news didn’t help.

Eventually, my marriage succumbed to the pressure of these challenges and crumbled. I found myself starting a new life on my own in Spain. It was a scary time, but also a welcome opportunity for a new beginning.

As I soon found out, the best antidote to stress and loneliness can be laughter.

Make new friends through improv

True to its name, improv comedy is not scripted. It is a series of games where the players make jokes and the audience is invited to offer suggestions. Everything happens for the first time on stage… so you could end up saying anything, no matter how ridiculous.

When I started taking improv classes in May 2023, I was recovering from a breakup and curious to try new things. I thought about taking one or two classes, but ended up going back every week.

Then, in September of that year, a popular English-language professional improv group from Seville—The Improvites—held auditions. I decided to give it a try and was pleased to see I got in.

Many members of Improvites have told me that the activity has boosted their confidence and helped them make new friends. Bob Rouf, a UK-born teacher and subtitler and one of the group’s founders, said it helped him overcome social anxiety. “If you’re an adult, you spend your time in hard work, in work … things get kind of hard, you get worn out. But you improvise and suddenly it’s easy again,” he says.

Will, another member from the UK, moved to Seville from northern Spain after his marriage also broke down. When he attended his first improv session, he didn’t know what to expect, but he says he’s so happy he stepped outside his comfort zone. “Improv has made me meet so many people that I’ve had so much fun with. I haven’t laughed that much in years,” he told me.

I realized that improv is one of the few times I can let my inner child run free. Deep connections were formed and now I feel empowered to let go and allow myself to be authentic – even in front of a crowd.

Do you have a personal essay to share about the challenges faced while living abroad? Contact the publisher: [email protected].