Having only one child makes life easier for my family

I know my limits

I always thought that if I had children, I would only have one. And after having my daughter 7 years ago, the thought was cemented.

While the pregnancy went well, the birth is not an experience I want to repeat. Years later, I am still recovering physically from the problems of having a child. With a baby, I have time to exercise and money to invest in physiotherapy to get my body working properly so I can run after my daughter.

I am also aware of my parenting limitations. I could probably have another baby, but I know I’d feel overwhelmed, have less patience, and not be the calm, present mom I’d like to be.

Our life is easier

In many ways, having an only child is easier.

My partner, my daughter and I love to travel and not only is it cheaper with one child, but the logistics are easier to plan. We all fit nicely together on a single plane row and in the back of a taxi. We can squeeze into a hotel room or a small Airbnb, and the three of us easily fit around a table for two in a coffee shop.

Participating in weekend activities or adventures like going to the theater, a sports game, or the zoo is easier and cheaper for our little family.

We also save money on things like the weekly grocery bill, school fees and clothes. The extra money we have allows us to travel and do more things together, creating amazing experiences and memories.

Having siblings is no guarantee against loneliness

I know there are many arguments for having more children. They will play together, take care of each other and bond for life. Having more children also means extra help as you get older and they will be there to set up your house when you die.

All these things are true, but there are also counterarguments to them.

Having siblings does not guarantee help with older parents or funeral arrangements. I have heard many examples of responsibility falling on a child anyway due to different relationship dynamics, adult responsibilities, and families scattered across the globe.

I have a friend who does not have children, and her response to questions about aging and death is that they will pay to make arrangements. Similarly, we will make plans to ensure that not all of the burden falls on our daughter.

We can play too

I don’t agree with the argument that you should have another child just to have a playmate. My daughter is lucky to have cousins, family friends, sports teams and schoolmates.

And we get the chance to play with her too: reading, drawing Legos, puzzles and board games. We also enjoy cooking and gardening together.

We make a big effort to make sure she is surrounded by other children and families and we get her involved in lots of activities.

Having only one child is more common now

When my parents had children, having two or more was seen as the normal thing to do. These days, I feel less societal pressure to have another child and it’s more common to see families like ours around.

For us, having only one child was a conscious decision and one that made our lives easier, cheaper, but also incredibly fun and rewarding.