Halle Berry says she has ‘aspirations outside of being a mother’

Asked how becoming a parent has changed her experience as an actor, Berry, 58, said she’s still doing what she wants to do as an artist.

“It definitely changed me as a mom, but what connected me was not worrying about what my kids will think about what I’m doing,” she said. “I want to instill in them, you have to follow your own dream, follow your passion, do what makes you tick.”

Being a mother doesn’t define her entire identity, she added.

“I’m still an artist. I’m still a woman. I still have aspirations outside of being a mother,” she said. “Before I was a mom, I was me, and I try to stay connected to that so my life doesn’t turn into, ‘I’m just a mom.’

Berry, who had her children Nahla, 16, and Maceo, 10, in her 40s, told USA Today in 2019 that she loved being pregnant. With her children growing up, she added that she is ready to return to her passions after 10 years of being in “mom mode”.

“I think that’s what keeps us young. It keeps me connected to my kids because they’re alive in the world,” she said.

Finding an identity outside of parenthood

Eugene Chong, a counseling psychologist and founder of Seeding Minds, told Business Insider that parenthood comes with a shift in priorities. Parents spend more time and energy on their children and their social life revolves around them. This can make them feel like they have lost their identity outside of being a parent.

He said that in order to preserve his identity, he should set limits to engage in activities that interest him and prioritize social commitments.

Roy Chan, a clinical psychologist and founder of Cloaks and Mirrors, agreed.

“Think of it like oxygen masks on an airplane, where you take care of yourself before you help others,” he said. Similarly, parents shouldn’t feel guilty for taking time for themselves. In turn, this will also help them become more present with their children.

Karl Desouza, a therapist at Listening Ear Counseling & Consultancy, added that seeking therapy can be helpful — especially for parents who are looking for external validation to be seen as a worthy parent.

Working parents are often labeled with cool terms like “supermom.” But these labels can hide the cruelty and pain of being considered worthy only if a certain criterion is met, he said.

Chan told BI that working parents should use available childcare to balance education and work. After work, they can set aside time to be present with their children.

“Be very careful about guilt-inducing advice that pushes you to give up your identity in order to be a parent. It would be very important to turn on your critical lens to eliminate advice that doesn’t make sense,” he said.

A representative for Berry did not immediately respond to a request for comment from Business Insider sent outside regular business hours.