I am a mother of 4 and have been shopping since back to school for over a decade. These are the 3 things I learned.

A mother and daughter go shopping

Imgorthand/Getty Images

• I have two children in middle school and two in college.
• School shopping can cost me more than buying Christmas presents for my whole family.
• I buy a lot of things second hand and my kids can spend their money on more expensive items.

In the 80s and 90s, school shopping seemed simple and relatively inexpensive. While I’m not sure if the grandparents who raised me would agree, a recent survey shows that the average American family will spend just under $875 on back-to-school shopping for the upcoming school year. For families with college-age children, the price is even higher at $1,364.

As a parent of four children who have done school shopping for over a decade, I’ve come to realize that the real key to surviving this time of year is to get creative.

I have kids in middle school and college

My children are between the ages of 11 and 19. With two in middle school and two in college, back-to-school shopping costs me almost as much as (if not more than) our family’s most expensive holiday, Christmas.

Not only do children need school supplies, including headphones and computers, but they also need shoes, clothes, backpacks, haircuts and lunch boxes. Parents also need to consider the cost of electronics and sports, many of which are now a modest fee.

As a parent in the expensive world of back-to-school, with rising costs due to inflation, a chaotic political climate, and a fluctuating stock market, I’ve come to rely on a lot of advice. From negotiating with teenagers to creative savings, I’ve become something of an expert.

I shop second hand

One of the first things I did was get to know my audience before I wrote our list. Younger children seem easier and less expensive to buy than older children. Recommendations are more easily passed off as cool.

A trip to the local Goodwill or consignment store can be an adventure if it’s sold correctly. I would even let my kids get a cheap toy or book once we had successfully navigated our list. Unless you’re lucky enough to have a child who loves retro items and sees Goodwill as a trip to all things nostalgic, or one who enjoys sustainability, older kids can be a harder sell when it comes to second hand shopping.

Local buy-nothing groups and Facebook Marketplace can also be appealing.

We reuse a lot

Another thing I make sure I do before I hit the stores is go through last year’s clothes to see if anything still fits.

I’ve reserved a section in the basement every year, so I know exactly where to start in August. While this may not be an option due to growth spurts, it may be the perfect time to start your own thrift store. I often used this time to pass down clothes from my older children to my younger ones. I also had friends I would trade with, especially when my kids were little.

If nothing comes out of last year’s clothes, many thrift stores will buy baby clothes that no longer fit. This money can then be used to purchase new school clothes. A local store even allows us to use the money as exchange for the clothes we buy from their store.

We then figure out what supplies we still have around the house so we don’t waste money buying what we already have. We analyze children’s needs against their wishes. Sure, they want Nike and Lululemon, but that’s not always affordable.

They can use their money for more expensive items

If your kids have a job, this can be a great time to start teaching them about money.

I’ve allowed my kids to buy a more expensive name brand if they’re willing to put their money where their mouth is, which means going half-assed on these items. That way, they learn a valuable lesson about working for the things they want and keep my back-to-school budget on track.

The author encourages her children to spend their money on more expensive items.

Courtesy of the author

Name brand desires have also helped me teach my children the fine art of compromise. My daughter wanted a $35 shirt from a fancy store. I saw the same one for a quarter of the price online. Since no label displays the brand on any of them, she decided to save her budgeted money for more expensive sneakers. Then I found those sneakers for $30 cheaper by buying a size up at kids shoes.

The moment is important

When it comes to shopping, timing is everything. Shopping too early or too late can make things difficult. If I shopped too early, my kids want to wear their clothes before school starts. To avoid this, I need to set clear boundaries and expectations ahead of time.

Kids can try their way back to school and show off to friends via Snapchat or TikTok, and then it’s stored all the way to school. The advantage of shopping early is the variety you will find. It also allows families to budget and take a certain amount from their paychecks throughout the summer.

The few summers I waited until the last minute proved difficult. I tend to pay more because I feel pressured, the selection isn’t as great, and I haven’t been able to shell out the cash, lessening the blow of a gigantic purchase.

If the local salon has a back to school sale that starts the week before school, my kids have to wait for haircuts. I also plan where to best use my funds and share this information with my children. If they choose to spend more on school supplies, it will affect the amount they are allowed to spend on clothes. My kids normally prefer to spend on clothes and shoes, so picking up classroom supplies at the Dollar Store helps them and me.

As a mother, I will take any advice I can to simplify our lives.