We divorced after 2 years together but now we met again

When we returned to England, Rob continued to contact me on the phone and visit me periodically. I kept telling him I wasn’t ready. But eventually his persistence paid off and we started going out; I told him I wanted to take it slow.

I felt safe around him

I struggled with trust, communication and insecurity. There were so many arguments. We could have broken up, but instead we solved all my problems little by little – to apologize, understand what happened and learn from it.

We got to a good place and felt very happy with each other.

By 2017, we got married and bought a house. A year later, in 2018, we gave birth to our son Noah.

As soon as I had Noah, my sanity took a downward turn. I became depressed and very anxious. It didn’t help that we lived in a remote location far from my support network.

Feeling like a terrible mother, I decided to quit my job to focus on taking care of Noah. I’ve always been an independent woman who owns her own money, and suddenly, I wasn’t that person anymore. I lost my entire identity.

We decided to move home to live with my parents, but it didn’t help my mental health. In my mind, I started making Rob out to be a lazy, irresponsible man. Even though those thoughts weren’t logical, they were very true in my mind at the time.

I initiated the divorce

Out of the blue, while Rob was visiting his mother, I went online to start the divorce process in June 2019. In the UK, all you have to do is fill in information about why you are seeking a divorce and pay £500 ( or about $650). The next day, Rob received the divorce papers in the mail.

He called me, asking where this decision came from, asking why I hadn’t talked to him about it before. My mind was made up though. He moved in with his mom and I got my own place for me and Noah.

For a year, we had Noah during the week and Rob had him on the weekends.

This year, I spent time in therapy. It was a healing time and I felt in a much better place by the end of it. It wasn’t until therapy that it was suggested that I went through postnatal depression after having Noah.

We started dating again

Rob and I started dating again. I quickly realized that the grass is not always greener on the other side. Nothing worked for me because I kept comparing everyone to Rob.

When the pandemic hit, I asked Rob if he would be willing to come and stay with me for the weekend to see Noah. It was such a lonely time and I didn’t want to be away from Noah. Rob agreed.

Without the pressure of marriage, our friendship grew stronger. We danced together in the kitchen with Noah, spent endless hours in the garden and went for walks when the sun came out.

A year after we saw each other most weekends, I started to notice romantic feelings towards Rob, but I knew he was still traumatized by me. As my feelings grew stronger, I knew I had to talk to see if Rob would be open to being in a romantic relationship again. I called him, and his first response was, essentially, “No way.” For six months, we continued to talk, and by the summer of 2021, we were back together.

Just a few months later, I got pregnant with Eva. We bought another house together, this time near my parents.

Despite the fact that I love myself and have children together, I will not marry Rob again. I’m a free spirit at heart, and the feeling of being tied down makes me cringe. Just the words “sit down” irritate me.

Being with someone doesn’t mean a marriage certificate or the government classifying us as a couple. True love and connection is how we feel about each other, how we miss each other, and that soul-divine connection.