I plan our trips, but my husband watches our baby when we fly

Fast forward two years later, and I’ve survived numerous hour-long flights with our daughter using one simple strategy.

We found a way to play to each of our strengths as parents

As we approached our first flight together as a family of three, my husband and I were stressed about two completely different things.

I was worried about what we would do if our baby started freaking out on the plane, but he was more concerned about what we needed to pack for the flight.

That’s when we came up with the plan we’ve sworn by for every trip since.

For every trip, I am responsible for packing everything for me and my daughter. I’ve gathered everything she’ll need, both for the destination and the flight, taking it completely off her father’s plate.

Instead, once we get on the plane, he’s in charge. If she needs a diaper change, entertainment, food, anything else – he will take care of it. And it does a great job helping her calm down from tantrums or fall asleep on longer overnight flights.

Even with this division of labor, we’re still equal partners—it’s not like he’s saying no to helping me pack or plan something, or that I wouldn’t help him on the flight if he asked.

We finally found what works for us

This clear division of labor has saved us a lot of stress, taking what each of us considers the worst part of the trip off the other’s plate.

Even so, I worry about the critical looks I might receive for not being our child’s primary caregiver during a flight. I still have mom guilt, often wondering if I’m not doing enough.

But as a big planner married to someone who isn’t, I can do what comes most naturally to me and avoid the part that isn’t.

And once we land, well, we’re back to splitting the parenting chaos 50/50.