One of the best gifts my mother ever gave me was her smile

That’s how I meet challenges today, but growing up, I didn’t always appreciate mom’s glass-is-always-half-full attitude. I wanted to be a successful leader, and to be a leader, especially as a woman, I knew I had to be taken seriously.

Although I didn’t put much into smiling or laughing, my mother passed on those traits to me without my intention.

When I smiled too much, I worried that my other skills would be overlooked

“Good with a smile” isn’t the kind of thing that shows up on a resume, and I’ve long since dismissed its value, even though I smiled and laughed my way through college, then law school, and then worked my way up the ranks at a law firm multinational corporations.

The first time I recognized the power of a smile in a professional setting was in my sophomore year of college when a business professor told me, “I really appreciate how you always come to class with a smile.” At the time, happy was not a word I would use to describe myself. But he was right. I smiled and laughed a lot.

However, more often than compliments, my tendency to smile has caused others to overlook and even dismiss my other credentials.

When I was offered a position at a prestigious law firm, my then-boyfriend said, “Of course you got the job; you have an attractive smile”. He said nothing about my other qualifications, such as graduating magna cum laude from Georgetown University or being at the top of my class at Columbia Law School. No, it was just about smiling, and he was echoing what I heard from the wider culture: don’t smile too much, or your other skills and talents will be overlooked.

I learned that smiling was an underrated leadership superpower

While practicing corporate law, remaining calm in the face of high stakes and demanding deadlines was a crucial skill. But it wasn’t until a senior partner told me that my smile put him and clients at ease that I recognized how my ability to remain calm came from how my mother modeled positivity by smiling in the face of challenges.

Whether I was presenting at the Department of Justice, managing a team of over 100 attorneys, or responding to an urgent client request, smiling allowed me to get the job done more efficiently.

It wasn’t just how the positive energy calmed others, but perhaps more importantly, how it calmed me. Smiling has allowed me to stay present and focused during many hectic moments at the office. Indeed, science backs this up. A study found that smiling reduces the body’s response to stress.

My mother’s smile has not only carried me through some of life’s most difficult moments, but has allowed me to find success in a demanding, high-stakes career. As I age, I now understand that the ability to smile and laugh often, when combined with hard work and intelligence, makes a strong leader.