I had 3 children under 3 years. It was difficult, but it was worth it.

I still felt like an only child because of our age difference

The thing was, I was already 16 years old. So when my new baby brother came to our house, I was on my way out, leaving for college before his second birthday. Apart from a few months when I was 21, I never moved house.

We have lived separate lives and have seemingly different parents. Adults also go through developmental stages, and my mother was young when she had me. He separated from my other mother when I was 8 and met my stepfather. When my brother was born, she was 30 years old and brought a different parenting life experience.

Growing up, I went to private schools and there was no centralized neighborhood playground for me to hang out at. My playdates were always a block away, meaning my mom would have to drive me to them. So on weekdays, I was alone except for the adults around me, which might explain why many of my mom’s friends became my friends.

I wanted my children to have siblings

I loved the idea of ​​my kids having siblings – and I really enjoyed having a baby, so why not add more? I had three children in less than three years between 2016 and 2019. My daughters are 13 months apart and my son, who I had last, is just over 13 months younger than my second daughter .

Which sounded great until I was living with two toddlers and a baby. In addition, my son was born 12 weeks early and needed a lot of attention – he was on oxygen as well as monitors checking his heart rate and oxygen levels. We also had to use a feeding tube and I had to learn how to put it in. Even after getting off his feeding tube and no longer needing oxygen, a baby with 1- and 2-year-old sisters has a lot of work to do.

Raising more children takes work, but it’s worth it

But now it’s worth it. Ultimately, education becomes less about preventing kids from hurting themselves and more about communication and conversations. I forgot how to play, so having kids who can play with each other is a gift, but I really enjoy reading to them (and now let my second grader read to me) and spend time outside together.

It’s not easy. I spend a lot of time feeling overstimulated; there is always someone talking to me or many people talking at the same time. It’s practically impossible to work full-time, and I’m grateful to be able to work flexibly as a writer and consultant. Someone always has a doctor’s appointment or is sick. And nothing could have prepared me for the arguments between siblings.

But I wouldn’t change it. My kids have the childhood I wanted: a childhood straight out of a middle-grade book, with a park across the street, friends around the block, and siblings who are (usually) their best friends.

And me and my brother? I’ve been visiting home more often and getting to know the fascinating person they’ve grown into, which teaches me that sibling relationships can still be special even if you didn’t grow up together.