I am in a long distance relationship and have been deported

Navigating a long-distance relationship has been difficult, especially with Australia’s strict travel restrictions. Our borders were completely closed, and citizens were not allowed to leave without special permission from the government.

I’ve seen other long distance relationships fall apart, but somehow Rene and I managed to hang on. After a year apart, I discovered I could apply for visas based on our relationship and finally booked my ticket back to the US. But it didn’t get any easier.

I was once deported back to Australia

I applied for a tourist visa, allowing me to stay in the US for up to six months at a time. I thought this would be enough as we only planned to hop between our two countries for three months at a time. I also work as a digital nomad, doing contracts with various companies – so I thought I was following the rules of my visa.

But in December 2020, when I flew back to the US to spend Christmas and my 50th birthday with Rene, things went horribly wrong. Immigration officers stopped me at the Honolulu airport, questioning my travel plans and freelance work.

What followed was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I was interrogated for hours. My 11-year-old daughter was with me and tried to comfort me as I burst into tears. The next day we were escorted back to the departure gate and put on a plane back to Australia. My visa was revoked.

I spent 50 years alone in Australia after being deported, it was devastating. My daughter was able to make jokes to ease the pain; whenever we saw a police car, she would say, “Watch out, mom, you’re a hardened criminal.”

However, the emotional toll of being separated from Rene and missing Christmas with his family and my daughter imprinted her trauma.

This relationship is not easy, but it is worth it

After that traumatic experience, I knew I had to find a way to be with Rene that wouldn’t put me in danger again. I researched visa options and eventually discovered a special visa specifically for Australians known as the E-3 visa. This visa allows me to live and work legally in the US. It was a complicated process, but I was determined to make it work.

When I finally returned to the US with the correct visa, I thought the worst was over. However, upon arrival in Honolulu, I was detained at immigration again. The officers reviewed my documents before finally allowing me to enter. Even with everything in order, the anxiety of being detained again was overwhelming.

The fear has not gone away. Every time I go through US immigration I still panic. I feel like I’m shaking and doing something wrong – even though I know I’m not. The anxiety is compounded by the sight of the large black ‘REVOKE’ marks still present on my passport from the previous tourist visa.

Living between two countries comes with its own set of challenges, and the trauma of deportation only made it harder. Rene and I had to learn to deal with constant travel, time apart and the fear of facing immigration again.

However, despite these difficulties, our relationship survived. We found a way to be together – even when it feels like the odds are stacked against us.