Chappell Roan’s canceled concert taught my child an unexpected lesson

• We first saw Chappell Roan when we went to see Olivia Rodrigo’s Guts tour.
• Roan canceled his appearance at a festival we were attending the day before it started.
• I was able to teach my daughter valuable life lessons about jobs and health.

I first saw Chappell Roan when I took my teenage daughter to one of the Olivia Rodrigo’s first stops on her Guts tour. Roan was opening for Rodigo and she was incredible. We both loved her performance and couldn’t wait to see her again.

We thought we’d finally get this chance to “All things go” music festival in Washington, DC. In the months since we first saw Roan perform, she has skyrocketed to fame, but left a trail of disappointed fans when she canceled two shows in Europe and rescheduled a third. My daughter saw Chappell drop F-bombs at reporters at an awards show and declared, “Chappell is not okay.”

I was hoping for minimal drama. The festival had an incredible line-up, but Roan was the main attraction for us. When Roan canceled the day before the festival, my daughter was furious and distraught. Roan said he canceled his festival appearances prioritize her mental health.

My immediate reaction was to support Roan and her need for space. However, my daughter pointed out that Roan seems to be struggling for a long time, to the point where he doesn’t seem to be able to do his work or keep his commitments.

This brought up a lot of difficult issues for me as my 14 year old navigates a high pressure high schooldecisions about her future and the need to look after her own mental health.

Here’s what we talked about.

You may achieve your dreams, but you’ll find they’re not what you wanted in the end

Roan might cancel shows and lash out because being a superstar isn’t what she envisioned. At 14, my daughter wants to be a doctor. Getting there won’t be the same as becoming a pop princess, but it will take years of hard work. After putting in blood, sweat and tears, he was able to reach the the height of her career only to find that it doesn’t make her happy.

If that happens, I hope he corrects course and finds something that brings him joy. We talked about how important it is to know when it’s time to go.

A job is always a job, no matter how much you love it

The increased demands that came with success may have taken the shine off Roan’s job as a performer and public figure. I told my daughter this even though she she loves her jobthere will be days she wishes she didn’t have to go to work.

Many people don’t have the luxury of not showing up when those days hit because they need a paycheck. However, Roan’s cancellations allowed me to talk to my daughter about how rock stars sometimes find their jobs unglamorous and stressful. While I hope my daughter always loves her work, the reality is that there will be days or months when she would rather be doing something else.

It’s part of being an adult.

Sometimes there are no good options

Many of Roan’s fans agree that he did the right thing prioritizing her mental health. After Roan canceled his appearances, the All Things Go festival released a statement saying they support Roan’s decision. However, it is undeniable that many of Roan’s fans were disappointed.

My daughter and I talked about how sometimes there are no good options. Even though Roan was absolutely right to protect her sanity, she must have known that she would have to disappoint many of her fans. Some had bought tickets to “All Things Go” a year in advance, and others had incurred considerable expense to get to the festival.

Sometimes there are no good options, but in the end it’s important to choose yourself.

It is important to get help

Roan has a right to privacy and is under no obligation to share what, if any, treatment he is receiving. However, I told my daughter that there is no shame in getting mental health treatment and I hope Roan gets the care he needs.

Once Roan is ready, I hope she takes this opportunity to share mental health resources with her fans who may be struggling with mental health but don’t have a team to help them find help.