‘Eastenders saved my life, I know it would have killed me’ – Coventry domestic abuse survivor’s harrowing story

If it hadn’t been for a horrific Eastenders storyline, a Coventry domestic abuse survivor admits she ‘would have been killed’. In 2020, the nationally televised domestic abuse story involving Chantelle Atkins and her abusive husband Gray had a tragic ending, with Gray killing Chantelle.

As she watched the programme, a Coventry woman, who did not want to be named, said it was like she was watching her life unfold before her. For nearly eight years, she suffered horrific abuse from her partner Bradley Trigg.

She claims he repeatedly assaulted her, tried to strangle her with a phone charging cable and, towards the end of the relationship, beat her so badly she would pass out.

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She told CoventryLive she was stuck in a cycle of abuse with the now 27-year-old and couldn’t get out. But the story in the soap “flipped a switch” in her mind.

“I was looking at the story, I was thinking ‘this is me. I’m Chantelle.” I was leaving the house smiling, telling everyone, ‘I’m absolutely fine’, but the moment I closed the door, I was with this absolute monster,” she said.

“Obviously Gray killed Chantelle. That’s when the alarm went off for me and I said “If I don’t go out and live Chantelle’s life, he (Trigg) will end up killing me.”

“That was my main trigger point to say ‘I have to get out.’

At that point, she created a fake Instagaram profile where she hides photos of the injuries Trigg inflicted on her.

“Right before I left, I had 130 photos of injuries on there (the fake account),” she said. “Those were the only major injuries I had because towards the end he was physically beating me two or three times a week.”

It had gotten to the point where the violence had become so severe that she said she began blacking out and having seizures.

“He would laugh at me and say I was faking it,” she said. “I’d come back and I’d be sick because of how long I was unconscious, I’d be dizzy. I was thinking ‘all it’s going to take is one blow to the head and that’ll be it. gone’.”

His stranglehold on their relationship started with him checking her phone, but soon escalated to violence. “The control came pretty quickly, but because I was so young, I was too young to understand,” she explained,

“Then when he started to lose control, he used violence to be able to control me. It was part of his tactics, to use violence to control me.”

She claimed that the beatings were getting more severe: “The violence got worse and worse. At first it was just a kick or a kick every now and then, or he would grab me and pin me to the walls.

“Then he went to the knives to a broken eye socket, punched in the ribs, tied phone chargers around my neck so I couldn’t breathe.”

But there was also the mental abuse. She had been led to believe that the beatings were “her fault”. They would always be followed by remorse and promises not to do it again – leaving her trapped in a cycle of abuse she thought she couldn’t break out of.

“Every time he would do these horrible things, he would be down,” she said. “Every time there were lows, a high came. He ended up buying me lots of presents, telling me he loved me, that I was the best thing in the world, and how he was going to change and how it was going to work out. to counseling and how it was going to change.

“He told me everything I wanted to hear.” To outsiders, they might not understand why she didn’t just walk away, but she explained: “It’s almost like telling a heroin addict, everything is free. I don’t want to have to take heroin, but because their brains reach these values, that’s why they do it.

“I didn’t want the lows, I didn’t want to be beaten, I didn’t want the lows, I didn’t want that life, but because I kept getting these highs, I was trapped into not being able to. let him.”

She said that even after she finally mustered up the courage to leave him, she found waste at her mother’s, Trigg still had a hold on her. “First of all, it was like being off drugs. I literally had withdrawal symptoms, I remember one day, sitting there shaking and crying, I needed to be abused, because I needed to be told that he still loved me because that’s what my brain wanted.” she said.

After eight years of abuse, she left in February 2021, but her ordeal didn’t end there. She said Trigg started following her.

“I saw him one day, he was in a hire van and I was like, ‘Okay, maybe that’s a coincidence, calm down, don’t overdo it, Coventry is a small place’, but from that day I I realized that van was following me everywhere,” she said.

He was using rental vans to follow her “I was just terrified,” she said, adding that she needed to gather evidence to hand over to police to get a warrant against him.

But his violence also continued, towards another woman, but the brave pair pressed charges and were due to appear in court for a trial. She showed up on the day – April 12 – something she said she didn’t expect.

He pleaded guilty to coercive and controlling behavior, assault in July 2020, assault in November 2020 and death threats. He was sentenced to three years and six months in prison.

In reality, the prison sentence doesn’t appear to be long and it’s something his victim questioned, but she said she’s ultimately the winner.

“At first I thought, ‘Oh my God, he’s only three years and six months old’, but I almost feel like I’ve completely won because he said he’s guilty and I knew he’d be nasty, and now I’m completely free,” she . said. “That in itself would kill him as I am now completely happy.

“In the long run, I won because time will never be long enough, but now I have the life I’ve always wanted.”

She now lives a happy life, casting a bright shadow over the eight dark years she endured with Trigg, and hopes her story will inspire others. As part of this, she bravely shared photos of some of her injuries to highlight the impact of domestic abuse.

“I think that’s part of why I wanted to speak out, when I look back on it and know the impact that Eastenders has had on me, if my story helps just one victim, that’s a life I could help save her.” she said.

“It’s about education. Domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. I grew up in a normal family, the best supportive parents ever, I wasn’t someone who grew up and watched this at home. I knew I’d be hit and be treated like this is It’s not normal but because I felt so caught up in everything that’s why I stayed.

“But more people need to talk about it. I want to say to other women who are in an abusive home right now, there is light at the end of the tunnel Since I left my abuser, I have met the nicest man, I have a wonderful man. home and family, I have everything I could ever want.

“When I was in an abusive relationship, if someone had told me I would go on and have the life I have now, I would never have believed them. I would have thought that this is my life is forever.

“But I think education is key, nobody really understands abuse. Until you’ve been through it, until you’ve physically felt it and been there, you just don’t know what it’s going to be like.

“But I’ve been through it, I’ve been through it, and I want whoever is in the same position now, to be able to.”

“An exceptional courage”

She praised the support of Coventry Safe Haven, who helped provide support in her journey to leave Trigg, as well as Detective Constable Helen Williams, who was “by her side” throughout the investigation and trial.

DC Williams urged others in the same situation to seek help. “Bradley Trigg is a serial domestic abuser who has left a trail of destruction in the lives of a number of women who have had the misfortune to come into contact with him,” West Midlands Police Constable said.

“Two of these brave ladies, one of whom, recently attended court to give evidence against Trigg and in doing so secured a number of convictions against him, along with a custodial sentence and restraining order.

“This has been a long and difficult journey for both of them, but especially for the offenses they have been up against for several years. I am extremely proud of them for their exceptional courage in not only seeing the case through to court. proceedings, but also for reading his own victim impact statements in court in the presence of Trigg and the public gallery.

“Hopefully this will bring them closure and allow them to rebuild their lives with Trigg behind bars.”

That sense of closure will take some time, but the domestic abuse survivor told CoventryLive that her story is ultimately one of hope.

“I just want to say to anyone out there who is in the same situation as me, you can get out of there, you can do it,” she said.

How you can get help

For information and advice on reporting domestic abuse, visit the police website here. Anyone in an emergency should call 999.

Coventry Safe Haven can be contacted via its helpline on 0800 111 4998 or details on its website here.

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